An honest cover letter
Dear prospective employer(s)
RE: the position advertised in the newspaper, on the Internet, or communicated to me via prophetic dream
I am highly motivated, driven, a team player, with experience in the field and several related fields. HAHA just kidding. But I am highly motivated to appear highly motivated. I have little experience and none of it good or useful. And I hate people. Loathe them. But my desperation outweighs my natural misanthropy (see? Driven).
My skills include:
- Aggressive fangirling
- Tweets with proper spelling, grammar and punctuation
- A working knowledge of the personal and professional lives of several celebrities (specialization: male British actors with perplexing names)
- Can properly pronounce the word “penguin”
I also have the ability to appropriately reference both popular and obscure culture and demonstrate socio-political awareness through Banksy wallpapers and commemorative items.
Areas in which I hope to improve:
- Trending something on Reddit
Some of the highlights of my personal and professional lives include
- Switching from a highly specialized and functionally useless degree to an even more specialized and functionally useless degree
- A savage fear of driving
- One of my tweets was RTd over fifty times! (“Today is National Orgasm Day! Or as Benedict Cumberbatch calls it, ‘Wednesday’.”)
- An Avengers-themed Tumblr post with over twenty thousand notes (the success of which I did not foresee and have not been able to replicate)
I look forward to taking your non-reply to heart.
Please, please help me.
Yours sincerely, etc etc.
5:21 pm • 26 September 2014 • 4 notes
holy dicks, that’s useful
reblogging for future reference
reblogging for future essays
reblogging for future roleplays
(Source: artandalcohol, via deanmonicsigil)
6:53 pm • 19 September 2014 • 444,048 notes
UPDATED: Sherlock master fic list / Johnlock recs
Note: I haven’t bothered with a rating system as I only rec fics I really liked. I’ve tried to point out relevant warnings where applicable, but check the tags on the site (most of these are on AO3) just to be sure. Last updated: March 2014.
Note: I haven’t bothered with a rating system as I…
6:34 pm • 19 September 2014 • 26 notes
Foxglove Summer teaser
A kind soul typed up a transcript of Ben Aaronovitch reading a teaser of Foxglove Summer, the fifth Peter Grant novel (due November). I absolutely loathe watching interviews (no matter who is being interviewed; it embarrasses me) so I was grateful that I found this. So excited for FS!!
8:00 pm • 13 September 2014 • 2 notes
Instead of leaking celebrity photos we could leak pdf versions of college textbooks? Idk just an idea
2:42 pm • 6 September 2014 • 308,858 notes
(I do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
2:42 pm • 6 September 2014 • 2 notes
dont ask me to smile in pictures because i will look like this 100% of the time
(Source: canadad, via deanmonicsigil)
4:48 pm • 3 September 2014 • 470,140 notes